How to Overcome Self-Pity
Posted by Ben TienDec 18
Imagine what life would be like if you learned how to utilize your self-pitying and transforming them into powerful resources instead. So called negative states of mind such as loneliness, frustration and despair are neutralized, changed or eliminated with many of the current psychological models.
While these methods can get useful results the whole picture becomes more interesting when we consider what many spiritual traditions have often claimed: Our suffering actually contains within it an incredible opportunity for growth!
What this implies is that with the correct know-how we can replace our habitual patterns of self-pity with minds of love and compassion.
To experience a feeling of love/compassion rather than retched self-pity we simply switch the object of cherishing. If we were to switch the object of cherishing to another person we have affection for, and who probably experiences similar and worse feelings, it would enable us to generate a feeling of compassion.
Below then is a complete strategy for reprogram our thought patterns:
1. When you’re feeling sorry for yourself what does that feel like? Notice the negative feelings in your body.
2. As you experience those feelings what would you name them? For the example, loneliness, frustration, worthlessness.
3. Imagine seeing yourself over there. Simply observe that you suffering and allow a feeling of love and compassion to arise. They are impermanent. They can’t not change!
3. Now think of loved ones who probably experience similar feelings and worse.
4. As you picture them in front, with that image of yourself, notice the growing feeling of love & compassion arising…
5. Breath with this feeling for a minute or three. You may begin to notice how you soften. Enjoy the warmth and softening of your heart centre.
And notice what the first thing you would see or hear before the feelings of self-pity start up. As you allow those feelings to arise go through the procedure from step 1.
What this means is that, in the future, as soon as feelings of self-pity begin to arise in whatever context, the new strategy will trigger and you will then have the freedom to choose to experience feelings of love and compassion instead.
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